The Egg Came First, Alright?!

Well, well, well… Well, where to begin? What came first; the chicken or the egg?!

The egg did, obviously. Done.

Why even ask? What does it (or anything) matter? Well, well, er, it doesn’t but I’m bored…

Before we proceed, I must point out this is MY opinion on MY blog, so it’s unequivocally correct. You're in the wrong simpy being here.

Now to the task at hand, the egg came first of course, silly. As evolution dictates the bird that laid said egg would not have been what we’d consider the ‘modern’ chicken – monocle, top hat, penchant for the ladies (hens) of the night, I digress.

Each stage of evolution is mutation from the last, an anomaly of the previous blue print and the egg that contained Chickenus Numero Uno (the scientific name for the first ever chicken*) was itself a freak of nature, a Teenage Mutant Ninja Cockerel, probably. Which just so happens , like its forefathers, to taste delicious in a secret Kentucky recipe of breadcrumbs and spices, finger lickin’ good, some would proclaim.

So there you have it, the least scientific explanation of anything ever!

While we’re at it, some people say:

 ‘If we evolved from apes, how come there are still gorillas about?’

These people can kill themselves.

We (not people who ask this) evolved alongside apes, like ducks evolved alongside Ninja Cockerels (Chickens) and the cast of MTV’s ‘Geordie Shore’ evolved alongside amoebas and other pond life…

Gorillas in the mist or mugs that are pisssed?

So there you have it, a whole wall of absolute nonsense.

Maybe I’m just bitter… And I am.

 

*Lies, all lies.